Light and Madness

Light shines above me as I stand suspended over a black, murky substance. A substance called Madness. Over it I hover, my toes barely touching it. But I feel it’s pull, it’s longing to consume me. Light calls to me. I know not what to do, for I am drawn to both.

Suddenly Mist enters the strange tunnel. It forms into storm-like clouds brewing in anger and revenge for the wrong that’s been done. I drop slightly, my toes dip into Madness and I feel it being absorbed into my chain-bound body. Chains of vows, unbreakable. A chain with a lock and no existing key.

I stare at Light above me, my eyes longing to reach out and touch the white glow.

“Such peace,” I think.

But then I look around. The storm clouds have dispersed and my toes no longer are absorbing Madness. I gaze at the black depths of Madness below me.

“But there, too, is peace,” I think.

My thoughts go wild. Spinning around me like a storm of memories, unwanted. I feel tears forming. Why, I do not know. Faces pass before my closed eyes. I shake my head violently.

“Go away,” I scream to the faces, but they can not hear, for I am the Silent Screamer.

They will not leave. It is as if they must be seen by me, not just pushed away, forgotten.

I stare into the eyes of one face. The eyes. One can see so many things. They are like portals to one’s heart and mind. But I must not stare. Must not see. They must not see into me. Me and my vows. Vows so sad and confusing, no other could understand. Only me.

The Wind of faces and memories fade. My head lay limp upon my chest. I try and concentrate. To form a shield around my heart and mind. But more chains form, weighing me down. Touching Madness once again.

My eyes widen as I see my hands and feet fade, as if they are becoming invisible to the world. I jerk my head up and stare hopelessly into Light.

“I can not prevent this!” I cry to the light, tears streaming down my face.

Light brightes, then fades to as it was before. I see a thin object fall. It looks like a stick as it nears me. But I recognize it. It is my Wand of Happiness. A piece of wood I had found a few years ago. A piece of wood I used to concentrate all my Happiness into. But it did not work. Happiness kept flooding from me. I could not stop the flow.

-Break it- A voice whispers.

I look around wildly, but I see no one. Does it come from below or above? I can not tell.

The wand hovers closer and starts spinning.

-Break it- The voice says more urgently.

I shake my head.

“No,” I say. “I must not.”

-Now!-

Closing my eyes tightly, I shake my head again.

All is quiet. I open my eyes to see not the wand but a face. A face I recognize, yet do not. It is pleading. Pleading to see into me. Let it know what I keep hidden. It will not go away. That face. So familiar, so sad. I turn away. It fades.

The storms come again and I touch Madness again. It is so dark. I feel I should give up and be completely consummed by Madness. But something keeps me from giving up. But, oh, how I wish to be at peace, whithin Madness. Or the Light…perhaps.

So there I stand, suspended between Light and Madness. Drawn to both, yet to none. I rest my head upon my chest and close my eyes. Hovering forever in the Mists of Indecision. Waiting.